1,326.

That’s how many days ago I quit smoking. 5 years to some. 31,824 hours to others. Sometimes it feels like an age, others, an hour.

Couldn’t have done it without tireless support of the love of my life, Eve. The reason I know this to be true is two-fold.

One, I had previously tried to quit smoking nearly three dozen times — far as I can recall — with ZERO help from others in my life and, as you can conclude, ZERO success. And two, with her by my side, I can pretty much accomplish anything within earthly reason.

I helped a little too. And for that, I’m proud.

At this point, the only thing I miss about smoking, is the quitting.

Fuck 9/11 elitist flag-wavers, I was there. I don’t need you assholes telling me how and when to remember things.

It’s MY freakin’ holiday now!

Yeah, I’m starting to crave flesh now. Let me tell you, it’s a very odd craving for someone who’s been Vegan for almost two years to suddenly have. Pretty sure that I’m not gonna be able to resist it for much longer. Feeling tired and cold, but otherwise content. Gonna go back downstairs to my condo and maybe play a few games of Endless Zombie Rampage… fuck it. I’m okay with the irony. You should be too.

Oh, while I was contemplating my inevitable demise, I put together a little zombie-related rundown for y’all.

Enjoy it while you still have the capacity to feel…

– Obvious

Zombie Apocalypse * Zombie Slave Leia * Fido * Apple Invasion * Naked Ape * 30 Days of Night * Zombie American * Zombie Emergency Defense Program

It’s Blog Like It’s the End of the World Day! Everybody Panic!

You can keep up with my ongoing entry here.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Zombies are the new Black. Marvel Zombies are great, Zombie Superman is (in good ole ObZomb’s opinion) even cooler, but now what we’ve got here is a straight up winner! Zombie Slave Leia. I’m not even worthy enough to bask in the gory glory of her shadow. What’s next, zombie Scooby Doo? I said it first, you’re my witness… so if it happens, I want cash!

Just a reminder for all y’all undead lovin’ individuals. The new ZombCom™ flick FIDO is coming out on Friday. You’ll remember from the last round-up that FIDO is about a world filled with domesticated zombies. Billy Connolly plays Fido with Carrie-Anne Moss as his owner.

What some have estimated to be a crowd of nearly 150 *zombies* took to the streets and terrorized the citizenry of San Francisco, Ca. After the mob converged in a central square, the decided (how they had enough brain power left for decision-making is beyond me) to storm local businesses, including the flagship Apple store. See, my brethren have taste in tech as well as brains!

Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith’s masterwork of vampire fiction 30 Days of Night is nearly here people. Sony Pictures just posted a great little teaser trailer, and I command you to view it as soon as humanly (or otherwisely) possible. The movie opens this October 19.

What happens when Swedish electronica meets zombies? Well, when melody makers Naked Ape got together with indie film unit Zombie Duck, things got bloody hot and wet!

Check it out here: Fashion Freak (NSFW)

Let’s catch up on the latest in undead jollies, shall we? Continuing where we left off, here are the next two segments of Zombie American.

Zombie American, Chapter 2
Zombie American, Chapter 3

And for good measure, here’s a bit of the Brit I that found while trolling around on MySpace:

Zombie Roommate

A Comic Shop in Winter Park, Florida, had boldly declared their base of operations (read: a comic shop) a zombie-free zone. This past April 24th they officially announced Z.E.D. — the Zombie Emergency Defense Program. With rally cries of “When the Zombie Apocalypse Comes, We Will Be Prepared!” and “Better Z.E.D. then dead!.” They’ve taken it upon themselves to ready a makeshift militia and began practicing defense scenarios in advance of the ‘impending infestation’ (which according to the blogsphere is happening right now!)

In fact, on June 24th, they will be taking up arms and spending the day shooting down some of the unfortunate undead (hey, suddenly I don’t know if I’m okay with all this ZED business!).

Also coinciding with Z.E.D., they’re sponsoring a zombie themed short-film contest/festival. Good ole ObZomb will keep you updated as the finalists and winners are chosen.

–Obvious Zombie

Yeah, I don’t know who I was trying to kid. When my neighbor’s buddy jumped me this morning, sure I got away, but not without few scrapes. I tried to tell myself that I skinned my knee on the concrete and maybe caught my arm a fence as I was fleeing, but what’s the point of bullshitting myself? I’m infected and I know it.

My street is quiet now, and when I got to the bodega it was empty. I grabbed a bunch of tender bits off the shelves and I was so hungry that I ripped open a few bags of chips and such and gorged myself on the spot. Here’s the thing though, no matter how much I ate, I stayed hungry.

Yeah, they got me. Fuckers!

I’m fairly certain in a few hours I’m gonna be playing for the other team, if you know what I mean. I’m gonna try and make a concerted effort to keep a log of my transformation, for scientific purposes.

– Obvious… soon to be Zombie.

I feel a little queasy and I’m getting hungry. Usually would have had breakfast and lunch by now. Yeah, been a little preoccupied, I know. Think I’m gonna have to brave a run to the corner bodega for some vittles.

Wish me luck!

– Obvious

Yep, it’s here alright. Z-Day, Zombpocolypse, whatever… just what I’ve been telling you people was coming for a long time now. Dead jumping up and having a walkabout, living running around like chickens with their heads on the block, bodies doing a jig. I was mentally prepared for this, but of course, I’ve been caught with my pants down as far as gear and goods.

I can see for a good mile in each direction from my roof, and everywhere I look all I see bits of random violence and general chaos. It’s pretty difficult to get up here — fifth floor utility closet with a rusty ladder that leads to the roof — so I’m sure I’ll be ok up here for a bit.

Half the town seems to be in flames. What the fuck is up with that? I mean, you know a zombie didn’t start the fires, right? God damn idiots must be tring to burn them do death or something… haven’t they ever seen a zombie movie. Need to destroy the brain, sever the head somehow, or just place a bullet through the noggin. Blazing one of ‘em up is like saying, ‘please, set everything in the entire vicinity on fire. I’ll wait.’

…grr

Damn, I’m tired

I can hear them outside. Some kind commenter named Evan sent me a link to some survival tips. Thanks man! Skimming it makes me wish I had a Shaolin spade or a crossbow. I’m prepping some tossing Mollies (an awful waste for twenty year-old scotch!) and getting ready for a quick run up to the roof to get a better idea just how bad my neighborhood really is.

I’ll get an updated out when I get up there–thanks to you, Airport Extreme!

-Obvious

TV didn’t make me feel any better. Classic emergency broadcast signal you’ve seen in every freakin’ zombie horror movie. Got my japanese sword and arabic dagger in my lap. Ready for, yaknow, whatever. They feel no fear, why should you? and Blades don’t need reloading. That’s pretty much all I can remember from the *Guide* right now. That and the fact that this looks like it’s way beyond a Class 2 outbreak. There’s still power, so that’s a good sign.

My RSS feed is pretty much going insane right now. Looks like every blogger I’ve ever known are all writing at once! My Elves are Different seems to know a lot more about this than I do.. and D1sc0r0b0t apparently has a driveway full of ‘em. Shit, even the chaps over at SF Signal are in the midst of some serious shit right now.

Awesome! Phone’s dead. Well, thank GoD for broadband and skype. Who’s the beta-tester now, bitches?

No answer… from anyone.

Great… just great.

My first thought, after the piss and all, is that I’ve read the Zombie Survival Guide, so I’m ready, right? I press my legs upward like I’ve done at the gym a million times. I realize that it’s Jayson’s, ahem, boyfriend Larry that I’ve just sent sailing over into the yard.

Ok… get up, get UP! Don’t let them get in no bites, no scratches… Run RUN. Shitballs! I’m huffing it down the block.. where the fuck am I going?!

Passing Jay, all hunched over. Now I see it. He’s half in the street… chomping oh Girt. Ugggghhhhhsss, paaaallezzesss! I DID NOT need to see that.

Think. Zombie Guide. Everything was cool when I went to bed. So what’s going on, Class 2 outbreak? I’m hoping Class 2… that’s only a few Zombies. Can’t have spread that far that fast, right? Ok, step one–get indoors. Find a good stationary location. Don’t wanna be on the run in the middle of an outbreak!

I’m heading back home, locking the doors, grabbing some zombie appropriate weaponry(?), and turning on the TV…

So I got dressed and ready for work, threw my bag over my shoulder and headed to the elevator train across the avenue. As usual, as I’m passing my neighbors house and I hear the mutt next door, Girt, barking at my approach. She’s out in the yard yapping up a bit more than her usual storm. I didn’t see her owner Jayson though. Weird. he’s usually out there sitting out on the stoop waiting for Girt to drop her morning *package*. I noticed what looked like a badger or rather, part of a badger, laying dead in his yard and figured this was the cause of Girts commotion.

Whatever :/

When I get to the train station, it’s empty. I’m thinking, “WTF?”, but without the initials. Then it hits me. I must’ve done it again–gotten my ass up for work, headed out to the train, and it’s fucking Saturday! Everyone else is home asleep, or watching cartoons or whatever, and my dumb ass gets up like it was frakin’ hump day and I was needed at the quarry. Yeah, I’m retarded like that.

So I’m walking back down my block. I see Jayson now. He’s bent over on the curb of the sidewalk picking at something. That’s when I first noticed the fire. The pastor’s quarters of St. Martin is in flames. As I’m grabbing the cellphone out of my breast pocket to dial 911, I’m knocked down from behind.

My irate self mutters, “What the FUCK! Asshole!” and as I turned myself over, horror washed over me. Cold realization, my bitches. “Fuck me in the ear!’

Zombies…